Human Experience



What is it that I cannot understand

I feel it, but can’t see it

I hear it, but cannot grasp



There’s clearly something

A deeper feeling, a wider meaning

A human experience inside you and them

That feels inaccessible



I feel inhuman through and through

And see your shining beacon

So clear to you, yet so foreign to me

Like a missing piece

That you try, with all your strength

To fill



You are not fit for this

You’re deserving of wholeness, connection

Please, be free

Pigeons and Sparrows



I saw a pigeon yesterday

it was dead, flattened like paper

nearly sunken into the asphalt



it reminded me of myself

of the ones I love

and the ones I hate



and it reminded me of what you said

what you always say

about out nature, our cycle



the pigeon question my thoughts

yet welcomed all my feelings

with open arms



it shined in it's simplicity

mocking my incessant need for meaning



---



I saw a pair of sparrows today

They danced in the air

Without any structure, without reason

They reminded me of us

Outer Wilds



I salute the stars and their infinity

their incomprehensible scope

and their existence



We, lowly and singular

biomechanical occurrences

blessed by Chance with the opportunity

to create meaning



For when I look at the sky from our rocky ground

I cannot see everything there is

nor everything that will be

nor everything that was



I feel inside it of me

in an unreachable part of my body

a calling from astrological wonders

an insinctual urge to

grasp, contain, understand



but unlike my fleshly being

there is no end

there is no mean

nothing more



and as much as my body years in despair

as much as it screams out into the unknown

demanding for an answer

the silence soothes me



The thought that there is an

uncontainable, indescribable existence

utterly and completely devoid of Me

reminds me of what is real



That the universe is

and we are

Shipwreck



If this is it

then it's been a great trip

and i'm sorry that I took you out to sea without a ship

but i couldn't help it



you took me on an adventure

brand new horizons, lands i've never seen

places that once appeared only in my dream

now laid out in front of me



time after time

my waves drowned you relentlessly

and yet you got back up and held on to me

even when I pushed you aside

and let the water fill your lungs

you coughed it out and told me



"I can't explore the world

if you throw me off deck"



So, from the bottom of my sunken heart

thank you so much, thank you

if this is it.

As I Bathed In You



I saw you dance

bathed in the stars

your brown eyes

reflecting them like the moon



and your hair flowed

like silk from a spiderweb

like the rushing blood through my veins

I wanted it for myself



I tried to keep it

tied in knots

woven like a tight braid

all of it, just for me



but as I saw how it hurt you

how it pulled on your skin

the way it dimmed your eyes

and I finally understood that it was never mine



you are the world's

as it is yours



from the faintest smile

to the screeching thought

the comprehension of consciousness

the lingering of talks



I hope to blessed

with the way you see the world

but you taught me

that blessing don't exist



It is Us

It is simply existence

It is only I

And it is only you



I will forever love you.

Thank you.